I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
