tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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