I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
