It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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