when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Welp...herpes.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
