She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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