is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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