We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I intend to get homeless drunk
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You can't just leave with hair like that
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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