I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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