Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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