We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize