there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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