I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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