bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
