You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
