none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
