Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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