If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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