so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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