You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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