my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
