he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
our cab driver is having phone sex.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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