Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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