you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
