he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
