...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
