It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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