I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Vodka?
Forever.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
