Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
