I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
