you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
