I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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