We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
