Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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