piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Randomize
