I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
