theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize