i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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