i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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