i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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