dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
