so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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