I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
