i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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