i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
