Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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