is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
