i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My feet surprised me
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