No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize