i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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