I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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