I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
3 2 1 whiskey
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
