No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize