He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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