Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
