it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she peed on how many people?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
