That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
