when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize