I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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