I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize