i don't like sucking hair
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
