i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
