you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
