I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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