so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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