So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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