Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
