after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
