i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
there was a trapeze. enough said
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
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