When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
