At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
