I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
