So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
