Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
