I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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