It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize