Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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